9 Normal Sexual Desires After Menopause That Are Often Shamed
Sexual desires don't fade with age, but societal taboos often make women second-guess their urges after menopause.
1. Desiring a partner's affection
After menopause, the urge to feel close and connected doesn’t disappear. Wanting physical intimacy can be about more than just sex; it’s often about feeling loved and wanted.
2. Fantasizing about new experiences
Exploring fantasies is a normal part of your sex life at any age. After menopause, curiosity might spike as you think about trying something new that you never did before.
3. Craving spontaneous romance
Menopause doesn’t mean the end of surprise dates or impromptu cuddles. The desire to keep things fresh and exciting in a relationship remains strong for many women.
4. Enjoying sensual touch
Skin-to-skin contact can be incredibly soothing, whether it’s holding hands, kissing, or hugging. Sensual touching can feel just as satisfying after menopause as before.
5. Desiring oral sex
Oral pleasure isn’t limited to pre-menopausal years; the desire for mutual enjoyment through intimate touch remains a common and valid craving.
6. Seeking sexual toys or aids
Using vibrators, lube, or other tools doesn't mean you're missing out on something. These can enhance pleasure at any age, helping to address natural changes in your body.
7. Fantasizing about past partners
It's normal and healthy to have fantasies that draw from memories of previous relationships. Reminiscing doesn’t mean you aren’t fully invested in your current relationship.
8. Desiring same-sex encounters
Exploring sexual connections with the same sex can be an exciting new chapter or a return to old desires, and is completely normal for women at any age.
9. Craving multiple partners
Wanting more than one partner isn't about being promiscuous; it’s about fulfilling your needs. This desire can be just as valid after menopause as at any other time.
If you're looking to explore new facets of intimacy, consider books or products that offer a safe and informed approach to enhancing your sex life.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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