9 Common Sexual Desires After Menopause (That Aren't So Taboo)
Find out what's normal and healthy when your desires shift after menopause.
1. Exploring New Sensations
Once you're past menopause, you might start looking for new ways to enjoy yourself. This could mean trying out different kinds of touching or using toys.
2. Fantasizing About Strangers
Fantasies about strangers can pop up more often. It's a way to explore desires without real-world risks.
3. Role Reversal with Partners
Switching roles with your partner can be tempting, whether it’s in bed or not. It’s all about finding what feels right and new.
4. Desiring Younger Men
Preferring younger men isn’t unusual after menopause. You might just want to feel young and attractive again.
5. Exploring Bisexuality or Other Orientations
Menopause is a time for self-discovery. Some women explore different sexual orientations or gender identities.
6. Increased Desire for Solo Play
Solo play gets more appealing as you figure out what works best for you without anyone else’s expectations.
7. Embracing Kinky Desires
Freedom from societal pressures means you can feel comfortable with kinkier stuff, whether alone or with your partner.
8. Fantasizing About Past Flings
Thinking about past romantic interests and why they attracted you isn’t uncommon. It helps reconnect with parts of yourself you might have lost track of.
9. Desiring More Physical Intimacy
Past menopause, the desire for more physical intimacy doesn't just mean sex. Cuddling, kissing, or other touches can strengthen your emotional bond too.
Consider exploring books on sexuality and aging to learn more about embracing your changing desires.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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