8 Ways to Feel Safer in Bed When Performance Anxiety Strikes
Feeling anxious about performance can zap bedroom confidence real quick, but there are easy steps you can take to chill out and get back to enjoying the fun.
1. Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself physically and mentally cuts down on stress. Hit the gym regularly, eat well, catch enough z's, and keep your workload in check.
2. Communicate Openly
Chatting with your partner about what you're feeling can be super freeing. Share your fears and desires openly to build trust and understanding.
3. Focus on Foreplay
Extended foreplay helps both of you unwind and feel more connected before moving on to the main event, making performance less of a priority.
4. Try New Positions
Trying out different positions can take the pressure off moves that might be anxiety-inducing for you or your partner.
5. Set Gentle Goals
Instead of aiming for peak performance, set small goals like taking time to breathe and feel pleasure. Celebrate these wins together.
6. Use Sensual Aids
Sex toys can take the edge off by providing new sensations and levels of intimacy that might be easier to achieve.
7. Mind Your Mindset
Shift your focus from performance anxiety to pleasure. Thinking about how enjoyable the moment is for both of you changes everything.
8. Take a Break
If all else fails, it’s okay to hit pause. Take a breather, reassess what feels right in the moment without rushing into anything.
Consider exploring books on mindfulness and stress management for practical tips to improve your well-being.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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