8 Ways to Feel Safer During Intimacy When Worried About Performance
Feeling anxious about your sexual game? It can spoil all the fun. Here’s how you and your partner can chill out and get comfy.
1. Communicate Your Fears
Talk it out with your partner. Get real about what's bugging you to take some pressure off and build trust.
2. Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance
Switch gears from stressing over performance to enjoying every little sensation and moment of pleasure.
3. Use a Variety of Toys
Give different toys a shot. It can be super relaxing, plus it opens up new ways to explore together.
4. Plan Ahead
Chat about your desires and worries ahead of time. Both of you will feel more ready and less on edge when the action starts.
5. Practice Makes Perfect
Regular intimacy helps build comfort and confidence between you two.
6. Set Clear Boundaries
Set some boundaries. It’s totally fine to take breaks or stop if it feels right.
7. Create a Calming Environment
Light some candles, dim the lights, and play soft music for a chill vibe.
8. Try Different Positions
Try out different positions. Find what works best for both of you without getting caught up in performance.
If you’re looking for resources to enhance your intimacy, consider exploring books on communication and relationship health.
- Mating in Captivity — Esther Perel · why desire and domesticity quietly fight — and how to keep both.
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman · the research-backed habits that actually predict a relationship lasting.
- Attached — Amir Levine · the attachment-style book that explains why you reach or pull away.
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