7 Ways to Overcome Performance Anxiety in Intimacy
Performance anxiety ain't no fun, but there are ways to feel better and get back in the game.
1. Communicate Your Feelings
Talkin' about your fears with your partner can help them understand what you're going through. It's easier to handle when it’s out in the open.
2. Focus on Pleasure, Not Pressure
Shift your mindset from worrying about performance to just enjoyin' the intimacy together. The pleasure is the goal, not just gettin' there.
3. Try Foreplay for Longer
Spending more time getting ready can help ease anxiety and boost arousal. Enjoy the buildup without feeling rushed.
4. Switch Up Positions or Activities
Trying new positions or types of play can take pressure off traditional expectations. Experimenting can be fun and liberatin'.
5. Practice Self-Care and Relaxation
Regular exercise, meditation, or even just a good night’s sleep can boost your confidence and ease anxiety in the moment.
6. Consider Professional Help
Sometimes talkin' to a therapist who specializes in sex therapy can offer strategies you might not find on your own.
7. Use Tools Like Lubricants or Sex Toys
These tools can make physical intimacy more comfy and enjoyable, easing performance anxiety by removing some stressors.
Exploring books about mindfulness or sex positivity might offer additional insights to help manage anxiety.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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