7 Ways to Overcome Performance Anxiety in Couples 60+
Sexual wellness isn't just for the young. Performance anxiety? That's just a bump in the road. Here’s how you and your partner can stay comfy and confident.
1. Talk About It
Sharing worries with your partner isn’t about nagging; it’s about teaming up to tackle concerns together.
2. Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance
Stop stressing over perfection, and start enjoying the ride. Focus on pleasure, not just performance, and watch things get better.
3. Experiment with New Positions
Mix it up in bed. Different positions can make sex more fun and help you find what feels best without the pressure.
4. Use Lubrication Generously
As you age, your body might need a little extra TLC to stay comfy. Experiment with lubes—water-based, silicone-based, or oil-based—to see which one suits you best.
5. Take Your Time
Take your time and savor every moment. The rush can add unnecessary stress; slow down and enjoy the buildup.
6. Embrace Intimacy in Non-Sexual Ways
Kissing, cuddling, and holding hands are super intimate too. They build a strong bond without any pressure to perform.
7. Consider Counseling
Talking to a pro sometimes helps clear up deeper issues that might be getting in the way of your sex life.
Books on relationship communication and sexual health for older adults could offer more personalized advice.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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