7 Ways to Feel Safer in Bed When You're Worried About Performance
Performance anxiety? Yeah, it's a bummer. But these tips help keep the fun front and center.
1. Communicate your concerns
Talk to your partner about any worries you have. Honesty makes everyone comfy.
2. Set the mood with music
Put on some chill tunes or songs that get you both in the mood without rushing.
3. Try a new position
Trying new things shifts focus from just getting it right to exploring together, making it easier and more fun.
4. Use distractions
Do something else first, like watch a movie or cook dinner together. It helps ease into the intimate stuff.
5. Practice mindfulness
Focus on breathing and feeling good instead of hitting targets. Enjoying now beats stressing over later.
6. Set no-go zones
Agree on when to take a break if things get too intense for either of you. That's okay, no shame in it.
7. Have a pre-bed chat
Talk about what each person wants and needs. Clears up doubts before they cause any trouble.
Considering exploring relationship books that offer more insights on communication and intimacy.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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