7 Ways to Feel Safer in Bed When Worried About Performance Anxiety
Performance anxiety can mess up your intimacy game, but here are some tips to chill out and have more fun.
1. Talk it out
Sharing what's got you worried with your partner helps build trust. Talking about it can take the pressure off and make both of you feel better.
2. Focus on pleasure, not performance
Change your thinking from 'will I do good?' to 'how can we enjoy this together?'. Remember, pleasure for everyone is the goal here.
3. Use toys and aids
Lube, toys, or other fun stuff can give you a boost and help with physical worries. They're just tools to make sex more enjoyable.
4. Try new positions or techniques
Trying new things can lower the pressure and add some excitement to your intimate time. Keeping it fresh keeps it fun.
5. Take it slow
Rushing into things causes stress; taking your time helps ease any anxiety about performance naturally.
6. Practice mindfulness
Being in the moment lets you relax and focus on what's happening now, not future worries. Mindfulness is a great way to stay grounded.
7. Consider therapy or counseling
Talking with a pro can give you deeper insights and tools for dealing with performance anxiety. A therapist might offer some valuable stuff.
If you find yourself struggling significantly, consider looking into books on mindfulness techniques or sex-positive relationship guides to help navigate these challenges.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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