7 Steps to Overcome Shame Around Desiring What's Normal in Midlife Sexuality
Feeling bad about your sex life as you get older? You're not the only one. Here’s how to make peace with what’s normal and good for midlife sexuality.
1. Recognize Your Feelings
It's totally fine to feel mixed up when society tells you something different from what you want. Accepting these feelings is where it all starts.
2. Educate Yourself
Getting clued in on sexual health as you age can help you realize your worries are pretty common and not so scary after all.
3. Talk It Out
Chatting with a partner or a pal you trust about your thoughts can really take the edge off. Sometimes, just saying it out loud makes everything clearer.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Pinpoint the negative stuff you believe about midlife sex and swap them for real facts and affirmations that actually make sense.
5. Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance
Instead of trying to fit into what others think is right, focus on enjoying the pleasure and closeness that comes with sexual experiences.
6. Seek Professional Help
Talking things over with a therapist can give you fresh ways to look at your feelings and help you feel better about sex in midlife.
7. Celebrate Your Body
Loving your body for all its changes helps you feel more confident and less down on yourself.
Considering a book on midlife sexuality or wellness can provide additional support and insights.
- Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski · the science of desire, especially responsive desire — a genuine myth-buster.
- She Comes First — Ian Kerner · a frank, practical classic on female pleasure.
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness — Lori Brotto · evidence-based work on attention, arousal and getting out of your head.
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