Why Having a Backup Plan is Terrible for Your Relationship
If you have a backup plan for your relationship, junk that idea right now! Research shows that relationships work because two people who have to fall back on in the middle of everything that a relationship involves.
By having a backup plan, it makes us less committed to the person that we are with right now.
A backup plan only means that you are not fully committed to whatever comes up with your current partner. Your mind will tend to wonder on the “what ifs” or the “might have been”. And contrary to popular believe, alternative don’t always make us happy. For example, if you and your partner get into a shouting match chances are you’ll think of your backup plan and say to yourself that you will never experience this with that person.
This will trigger a negative effect that could lean towards the much easier option of separation. Separation is easy. Sticking it out through the rough patches- much harder.
Not much in this world is for certain, and that includes relationships.
However, if you are looking for certainty, chances are you’ll end in tears. The best thing to do is to accept every challenge, conflict, or change that might come your way. Deal with it.
Never let a backup plan influence you to end a relationship.
Place yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagine how you would feel if this would be done towards you. Of course, the most common reaction is to get hurt and feel insecure. A person’s emotional stability would be greatly affected by all of this. Thus, it would be best to let your relationship flow naturally. Take the good with the bad. You must understand that there are no perfect relationships because all of them have flaws – and the idea of perfection is an illusion.
It is in how you handle the reality of reality that really defines a strong partnership.
Always keep in mind that relationships last over time because there is a mutual understanding between two people who value depth, trust, connection and, no turning back.
If you think that having a backup plan is a wise decision, you’d better think again.
With a back up plan, you’re almost putting one foot out the door. You would be willing to end a relationship any time you want because you would feel that some other backup person would satisfy your needs instead. This is not an ideal scenario because if you do this in every relationship that you have, you will only experience the limitations of your familial programing.
The best thing to do is to consider all options even before jumping into a relationship. Choose a person that you think you can communicate with. Make sure that your potential other-half is a good match for you – your species.
Before entering a relationship, ask yourself if you would be willing to face everything together. If you are already in a relationship, make sure that you are one hundred percent committed.
The bottom line: A backup plan is one of the most terrible things for your relationship not only because it promotes options – and when we have options, it’s much easier to step out.